So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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