I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
