I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
