why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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