found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
