btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i think i just lost a toe
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
We smell like vodka and hangover
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