Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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