Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
