I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
