I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize