How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
its not stalking. its research.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
