What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
