i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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