What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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