I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize