I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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