Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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