It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
