Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
