Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
