I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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