PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
