you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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