Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
