We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
