After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
