There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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