well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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