He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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