Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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