If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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