I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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