Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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