How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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