you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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