I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Someone signed my nipple.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
