And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
