I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
