That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
