Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
