we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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