Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm too high and old for this...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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