you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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