I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
