Ambien. No doubt about it.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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