Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
