After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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