That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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