it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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