i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize