Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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