Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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