and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
