please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
