Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
