You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
