halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
