so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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