I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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