I need help removing her.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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